People seeing me 'smile and laugh' as if I have nothing to worry and concern about but nobody knows what the inside is...Only me do. It's not easy to cope with my situation.. I asked a few thoughts from my friends but not many of them can give me the best solution..Its easy to give advice more difficult when you're having to do it. I think, mine is complex and unusual difficult.. ...In a way, I feel completely stuck - My friend has once said to me 'Maybe I'm 'stuck' waiting for my luck to change? Maybe I have to try and make my own luck?'' Yes, maybe I replied..... Maybe I should try and do instead of waiting? Yes, it's all maybe...
I've been thinking a lot recently trying to find a solution...I keep and keep searching but still I have not found yet. The more I think the less I have. My head was aching I felt lost and confused.. Sometimes the pressure was so unbearable - I had this opportunity that some people search and struggling to get..I had been all through that but I have not complete the 'task'...yet. It's gone through the half way and I was stuck in a middle...Why this is happening to me? Is it because of me? or is it the situation made me? I don't want to lost this one chance....and I don't know if I can keep continuing what I am now, but if I did - Will it change the situation? Shall I just move on? The difficulties and obstacles made me so upset and frustrated. Life isn't easy.. I still remembered before I came to the UK - Kevin told me that 'roads in the UK are not paved with gold and not always a bed of flowers'. He's absolutely right!!
This afternoon, I called my mum and sister Lenny, I haven't talked to them since last year - It was good to hear their voiced again. I missed them so much...!! I am glad that they were all fine. That's the most important.... As in things back home and stuff...some of them I was not very happy with... It's not easy to dealt two things when you're far apart.. I just hope things are getting better soon.
My headache really 'discomfort' and annoying me -- I think, I better take some rest and hope tomorrow be better than today. xxx
2 comments:
Whatever it is,u're always in my prayer..Believe me,God will always be with you..He have carved u in HIS palm..HE will never let u alone either in good or bad situation..
May God bless you..
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